You Know You’re Broke When…

1. A good part of your daily agenda is to seek out the closest person to borrow money from.

2. You make your dates pay.

3. Your idea of a date is a dollar movie, dollar menu, but she pays and has to pick you up.

4. You look forward to ramen for dinner.

5. Your wife has to get a second job to support your video game habit.

6. A stomach growl means that you are saving money.

7. You pride yourself in have 100 dollars in your wallet.

8. Your car shakes so much when it drives that it puts you sleep.

9. You roll up foil so you can get better radio reception.

10. You agree to go dutch, but then “leave your wallet at home”.

11. You know how to survive a month on $20 dollars.

12. You have homeless shelters, soup kitchens, and clothing charities phone #’s memorized.

13. You come to church so you can get bread and water. And you go for seconds.

14. You buy bus passes at least 3 months in advance.

15. You get an entry-level position at a good company with opportunity to move up.  And by “good company” I mean “terrible”, and by “opportunity”, I mean “doomed  to scrub toilets without gloves for the rest of your life”.

16. You know how to leverage your foodstamps.

17. You pray to win the lottery.

18. When you do your profit-analysis, homelessness becomes an attractive alternative to bills.

19. You clean to find more things to pawn.

20. You have a collection recipes of creative ways to cook mac & cheese.

21. Your primary source of income is from donating plasma.

22. You count your pennies.

23. Your car has more than 3 colors of paint.

24. You sit on the steps nearby to steal internet from your neighbor.

25. You think it’s ok to pay for things with piles of change.

26.  You have more credit cards than income.

These belong to other people, I (unfortunately) can’t claim authorhip:

1. You claim other people’s kids on your income tax. (Kanye!)

2. You clean your house, hoping to find change.

3. You owe yourself money.

4. You have to save up to be poor.

5. You’re idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.

6. You clean to find lost treasures.  (thanks B)

7. You wash toilet paper.

8. American Express calls and says, “Leave home without it!”

9. You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.